My life is the awkward entanglement of sex,
All of its peculiar nuances
All of its soulful idiosyncrancies
It's my holy baptized christened flesh
And saw dust in a solar breeze
Sharpened to death
By a seemingly perennial persona
Always neutral
Always gay
Always artificial
* * *
I realized all of this in a foreign land
In a restaurant where there are 3 kinds of spoons
And endless wine
Where I dreamed
I lusted for cigarettes
I gazed into white clouds and blue mountains
And the sharp contrast between blue and white
Where the blue mountains are penetrating the white clouds......
I thought,
Am I afraid of this awkwardness?
Or do I wish to get drunk with the solace of my friends
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